Before You Feel Guilty...

We are in a democratic country! This blog and everything in it is owned by a not perfect human being. She doesn't force you to read or agree with what she puts or writes here, so if you see something you don't like, the X button up there is more than happy to serve you. Copying, taking or reproducing are not allowed without her consent. Feel free to leave a message on her tagboard. I respect whatever your opinion may be because I'm entitled with my opinion. :) I rather be hated for who I am than to be loved for what I am not.

Entries for August, 2006

The Pursuit of Happiness

The Pursuit of Happiness - that will be the name of my upcoming layout but I'm still searching for the right image to use for my version 18. And I got that name from my cd, it's a compilation of 80's songs named Pop Killer, owned by my sister, consists of new wave and rock songs. This title was actually a band name.. and talking about my next, next layout for September, I'm sure I'll be using the title.. Living in Oblivion.. X3

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I've just talked to Chantal a while ago about our personal thoughts, feelings about other people. And she got me realized something still running to my head.. Well, it's just about my past, my friend that I've lost my trust with.. My friend Asami told me last month that I am so "plastik" to that person (she's always saying that to me whenever I talk to that girl).. I admit that's true, I think I've been doing that to her since I've lost my trust, I don't want to mention her name. Maybe because, my feelings were confused, maybe because I still feel hate and fear to trust again or I just can't stay away from her because I still want our friendship to stay. But Chantal really understands my situation and she told me that I've been doing that (kaplastikan) hoping that when my trust gets back again, then it's alright, I'll not do that to her.

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At last, I'll install adobe photoshop right now but I'm not sure when will I start to do my layout.. and the upcat is very, very, very soon!! XD

Euphoria, The Blues, Humdrum

New Layout.. Updated..

Feeling: high

At last! I've come up with this layout, I like the image very much !! It really suits the title for this layout. After so many weeks or for one month without making a layout. I'm planning to make my splash page in freewebs, I got an image from Advanced Anime. XD

Our periodical test will be on thursday (Aug. 10, my brother's birthday), friday and saturday, on saturday, I am planning to go with my sisters to watch a movie and for sunday with Chantal and Asami, we're planning to watch a dvd, 6 in 1 korean movies. ^^ Anyway, I think I will not declare Hiatus for my blog right now. :D I'm so satisfied with my layout..

Euphoria

One more Day

Feeling: content

I am supposed to be studying right now but I can't help myself! I miss my blog! XD We had our Periodical Test today in Math, AP and MSEPP.. Tomorrow will be Physics and Filipino. I must study very well on those subjects. Actually, last tuesday, I just want to cry out when I got home, I dunno what the hell's been happening to people around me. They keep on asking me stupid questions. Some of my friends and classmates asked me if I still love my ex boyfriend. I was surprised and one of his friends also asked me and I don't what to say to them. Diane told me that if I really got over to him, I should have said "no" to them. But I dunno what had happened to me that time, many things were running through my head.

After that, I keep on thinking about it.. And I've realized that it's not the right time to tell them about my feelings towards him (if my feelings still exists), I don't want to say "yes" or "no" maybe because I'm not sure about my feelings, "ayokong magsisi sa magiging desisyon ko".. And it's not LOVE if I couldn't say NO to them, I could say for now that I can live my life without him. ^^

About other people, my friends, classmates.. I'm very happy for my bezzie, she has a love life now with her bestfriend.. nyahaha.. And I'm the one who sends messages for both of them but I'm not saying ALL to them so that there could be surprises. But I think they should talk to each other, I mean the two of them without me!! XDD

Euphoria, The Blues, Humdrum

For those who are born on 18th day of the Month

I got this from my classmate.. I was born 18th day of the month of December.

Your Life

At first glance, people think you are quiet type person. Actually, you are cheerful, but conditionally. You will show your joyful character only in good mood. On the other hand, when you are moody, no one would dare to be around. Because of your emotion fluctuation and frank character, some find you hard to be around.

Your Love

You hardly show your feelings towards opposite sex no matter how much you like him/her. Your partner also has similar character so your love affairs often take quite a while to flourish. Time tells it all. Your, sincerity makes you very attractive.

Humdrum

Same Routine

Feeling: disturbed

Okay.. First Grading Period is over.. I've finished/submitted my projects, periodical test, pondo ng Pinoy, recitations. As the Second Grading starts, my upcoming duties I know for now were the Computer Club website, the recitation in Filipino on Aug. 17 & 18. For now, I'm enjoying myself, surfing the internet and started making our Computer Club website. XDD Since last Aug. 10 was my brother's birthday, our family celebrated it yesterday, I've spent my whole day, eating, sleeping and watching TV, though my brother didn't come with us, I'm still happy.

Supposedly today, I would spent my day at Chantal's house together with our other two friends, but they told me last night that they woun't be able to come with us so, I've decided to cancel it anyway. But I think I'll finish watching the 6 in 1 korean movies, including Windstruck.. can't wait.. :3 I had already uploaded my splash page... www.freewebs.com/mayochan

Humdrum

I didn't expect this

Feeling: sad

I've been so sad for few days ago until now, I dunno what to do.. I can't handle them. The most important people I certainly love and cared for. It's about Asami and Chantal, there is really a gap between them, I mean, they're not talking to each other anymore. And what had happened today is so complicated. Chantal has no idea why Asami always doing that to her, irritating her or what, they've been pissed off to each other and Asami told me the reasons. But to cut the story short, both of them have no plan to talk or to say sorry to each other, and I think, hearing from both sides.. they both have mistakes, it's not that I go for Asami or I go for Chantal, but the fact that their war is affecting me so much. I'm just a person who don't want a conflict or a person who don't want to get invovled into a fight, especially when it comes to friendship.

The truth is, I transferred to my section because of 1. I want to spend my last year with my bestfriend - Chantal because she's the only one who I really can trust with and the one who really understands me best. 2. I want to know more about Asami since she's a friend of Chantal.

So, now that Asami and I were close friends, the conflict begins. Since Asami and Chantal don't talk to each other and Chantal is so busy, I usually go with Asami and often talks to Chantal and it hurts me. I don't want to lose both of them but Asami's driving me away from Chantal (that's what I think) because she don't like Chantal so she's getting me involved into their fight. For few days, I felt so guilty inside. As I said a while ago, they both have mistakes, and sometimes naiinis din ako sa kanila pareho. And they both have no patience at all for each other so nagkakapikunan sila pareho and I'm the person who is really patient so that's why no one get argue with me. I just wish that this conflict between them ends 'coz I really can't take it anymore. I have my limitations. This is not what I had expected to happen, I expected that three of us will enjoy together this year.

The Blues

Great

Feeling: thankful

I haven't recited in our Filipino but I'm included with the people who will perform on stage the Sabayang Pagbigkas on August 25 though I have not yet recited, our teacher decided that we will recite on tuesday for our individual project. Our retreat will be on August 28, 29 and 30 and we are the first batch, I'm not that happy for our schedule because after the retreat, we will still have a class and it is so unfair because the second batch on August 30, 31 until September 1 will have their relax after their retreat because the next day will be Saturday so no classes after their retreat.. Anyway, bringing cellphones on the retreat is not prohibited so I'm quite happy.

Tomorrow, we will have our practice until Monday because we will have no classes until that day, but I think I will not go to school on Sunday except that I'll go to a mass with Diane and then, I'll go to Antipolo. Of course I'll attend the practice tomorrow and on Monday.. XD For past few days, I've made my friend a layout for his blog, try to visit http://www.tabulas.com/~sukiyaki, since I think I'm the only one who always visits his blog. And speaking about layout, I think I'm now satisfied with our computer club layout that I've made.

Humdrum

Argh.. Headaches..

Listening: Destiny's Child - Say my Name
Watching: SBN
Feeling: hungry

I went to school this morning and got home this afternoon then I continue my next layout for September, wow.. really made my head aches! The coding was not yet finished, I HATE tables! Just need to finish up few more codes then it's all set.. And when I've finished it, I'll do the layout for computer club.. (also tables.. >_<') Argh.. Anyway, I feel so dizzy right now so got to go! I'm soooo hungry! :3

The Blues

Aww.. Sweeeeet!

Tomorrow will be the speech choir contest but I think we still need to polish it, I think our presentation would be great. We will have no classes for tomorrow before (?? because of the practice) and after the program. Anyway, I did nothing today except for few things, I joined our practice in that speech choir, I talked to people about random things, I feel happy for Chantal and Jaevert (her boyfriend) as well as Asami and Chantal were okay, and I scream! XD

I'll go tomorrow in Anthony's place together with Manoel, I miss them so much! I'm planning to cut my hair for this week or maybe on September. I should make letters by tomorrow when I got home.

Argh.. I hate mosquitos!

 

im not missing you

been through just about everything

that i could go through when it comes to relationships

dont know what i was missing or why i aint listen

when i told myself that was it but here i go hurt again

cause of my curiosity now that its over

what else could it be besides a cheat

 

i made a promise never to settle (why didnt i keep it)

cos i needed the heart break

cryin and cheatin then fooling around

but im not missing u

im not going through emotions

waiting and a hoping u call me

im not missing u..

u mighta had me open but i must be goin because

i got lots to do

i know im usually hanging on

i used to hate to see u go

but this time its different

i dont even feel the distance

im not missing im not missing u

its a shame in a way cos i feel that

i may not ever find the right one for me

did i leave him this year

i didnt find a face oh will my true love ever be

how could i go on a search again when i know what the end will be

what good is love when it keeps on hurting me

 

i made a promise never to settle (why didnt i keep it)

cos i needed the heart break

cryin and cheatin then fooling around

but im not missing u

im not going through emotions

waiting and a hoping u call me

im not missing u

 

u mighta had me open but i must be goin because

i got lots to do i know im usually hanging on

i used to hate to see u go

but this time its different

i dont even feel the distance

im not missing im not missing u

 

im not going through emotions waiting and a hoping u call me

im not missing u

u mighta had me open but i must be goin because

i got lots to do i know im usually hanging on

i used to hate to see u go but this time its different

i dont even feel the distance im not missing im not missing u

 

no i cant be with u cos

im scared felt like i was falling when u left me

i cant keep going through life unaware of what im missing

or the person that i could be loves good when its right bad

when its left in ur memory all the time anytime

i guess love will be nice for someone this is life

 

im not missing u

im not going through emotions

waiting and a hoping u call me

 

im not missing u

 

u mighta had me open but i must be goin because

i got lots to do

i know im usually hanging on i used to hate to see u go

but this time its different i dont even feel the distance

im not missing im not missing u

im not going through emotions waiting and a hoping u call me (knocking at my door) u mighta had me open (ay oh) but i must be goin because (this is the best day of my life) i know im usually hanging on i used to hate to see u go but this time its different i dont even feel the distance im not missing im not missing u (im not missing, wooooh yea, im not missin u, no baby, im not missin u)

Humdrum

Getting Ready for It

Feeling: loved

I just got home right now though we've dismissed earlier at 11:20 a.m. I went to Anthony's place with Manoel, I made another layout, if you have time, visit his blog at http://www.tabulas.com/~tenshin0310, but it's not yet finished.

Before that, we had our speech choir competition and we've lost but I was not disappointed, because for me, we're still winners, 4th year are winners today. We had the average of 95% and St. Augustine have 96%, just one point. And Mr. Barrer's third year (my former adviser) just had 93%. It wasn't a big deal for me, coz' we helped St. Augustine to win that contest. But anyway, retreat is very soon and yet I'm still not writing letters for my classmates, friends, and for the other people. We will go to Antipolo Retreat House on Monday and will go home at Wednesday. I'm quite excited. I really must ready myself, my things to bring.

Euphoria, Humdrum