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I've just got home right now, from my friend's house together with our friends, we watched a movie entitled "Jeepers Creepers", it was the part one.. X3 I am still not feeling well, I was sick since yesterday. This morning, we had our first friday mass then we took exam, today is the last day! Yes! After that, we've practiced the dance steps for the up coming Junior-Senior Prom this coming Feb.10. Actually.. I am not feeling excited, nervous or any about it. XD

Before I go to the house of my friend, I bought three gummy candies, it was an eyeball, I was so happy to found it from a store near our school. I've been craving eyeballs for past months and I am very proud to show it tomorrow to my sisters in Antipolo, though I still have projects to do, well.. going to Antipolo is the only way to make myself relaxed, and forget all of the stressing and depressing things happening to me, it's like another world for me. I need to finish my projects after the prom, and the foundation day is very soon! And our section have already plans about it, activities, etc. That's all I can say for now.. X3

~bye

I am still sick right now, I was at antipolo yesterday. I watched Underworld Evolution, together with my sisters and my mom. It was so good! A perfect brutality, so dark and bloody. I want to watch it once again on Feb.15 with my friends.

I just slept again until 11 am.. Then, I ate lunch and surf the net until now, I was chatting to my friends.

But later, I had realized something deep inside. I am still not getting over him, everybody was telling me, I was changed.. But that's not it! I mean, currently, this is not me stucked to him.. I am sure.. when I get over to him, my personality will gone back again, but I am so confused which of my two personalities is the real one.. I really don't know myself..

One is that, when I am with the group of my friends which I met since first year, I am so jolly, naughty, and even in the things I do.. was affected by them, the way I move, the way I speak was still affected by them.. My childlike attitude or a funny person is there. Sometimes, I can't express my emotions because I had a doubt that they or one of them might get irritated.

Second is that, when I am with my bestfriend whom I met since grade six and we're still strong as new until now. She also changed me.. But in the other way around, I am not that childlike or as gracefully in movements, I am more serious to myself, I can express my emotions without any doubt that she might get irritated. But in studies, I've never changed because of them, that's the only thing I know that is true about me.. Sometimes, I am thinking that I am one of the misunderstood people..

~bye for now!

Each time you break my heart
Each time you break my heart
I know how it feels to be the talk of the town
I'm not gonna let you go and run around
I need to know that you'll be true to me
'Cause that's the way it's got to be
Why can't you give your promise to me
Is love so blind that you cannot see
I'm trying hard not to walk out the door
Know that I, oh, know that I can't take no more
Each time you break my heart
I try to put my pride aside
Each time you break my heart
A little voice inside me cries
No matter what you do or say
I'm gonna love you, I'm gonna love you anyway
And if you're so sure that I'm not your kind
How come you can't just walk away
In the beginning we were nothing but glad
Those were the best days that we ever had
There's no compassion, all your warmth is gone
Tell me how, oh, how can I keep holding on
Each time you break my heart
I try to put my pride aside
Each time you break my heart
A little voice inside me cries
I see the look in your eyes
I know you're hurting inside
Let me try to make you love me again
I'll say that I knew you when
You were mine, you were mine
Each time, oh, yeah
In the beginning we were nothing but glad
Those were the best days that we ever had
There's no compassion, all your warmth is gone
Tell me how, oh, how can I keep holding on
I see the look in your eyes
I know you're hurting inside
Let me try to make you love me again
I'll say that I knew you when
You were mine, you were mine
Each time you break my heart
I try to put my pride aside
Each time you break my heart
A little voice inside me cries
Each time you break my heart again
Well I can say I knew you when / each time
You were mine
Break my heart, don't break my heart
Break my heart, don't break my heart....

how come you hated me, is it just because you loved me? if there's no hate, there's no love, if there's no love, there's no hate..

Last night, February 10, 2006 was the day of the event. I was late coming to school because I woke up at 6:50 am.. and to think that our morning activity is on 7:15 am, so came to school at 7:30 with my dad. There was Fugen, the one who is so strict to the late comers, but actually, what I did was, I just passed by not noticing her. I was bad..

We had no classes but we still need to practice the dance steps. We are dismissed at 12 in the afternoon, then I've gone home so that I could fixed myself for the prom. My make up and hairstylist came at the house at 3:00 pm, then he started. I didn't expect that he is so popular.. He designs gowns, he is even the one who makeups contestants in a beauty contests here and celebrities like Korina Sanchez. Wow. We've finished before 4:00, and the prom will start at 6:00, but we should be there before 5. I came there at exactly 4:30, but there's no one there, so I couldn't get out of the car, I just waited someone that I knew to came. Suddenly there's one. XD

We took pictures, lined up then the program started.. I was not really confident about myself. I dunno why, is it because of my gown or something.. We ate dinner, danced, then we already have the Mr./Ms. Junior, Mr./Ms. Senior, Mr./Ms. JS, and the best cotillionaires. After that, the floor was ours! I really can't dance! I just wanted the 'sweet' which you would have a partner and dance in slow. These is what happened as I remember: (from first guy up to last, coz' I didn't count them)

~Manoel

~Rayos

~Anthony

~Juno

~Baldovino

~Rayos (2nd time)

~Erwin

~Martin

~Jaevert

~Janhree (who really can't find me, wanted me as his last dance)

~Norman

~Daniel

~Juno (last dance)

~au revoir!!

I did not go today in Antipolo. I slept for almost a day. I haven't doing any of my projects. Today is so lonely.. That's what can I say.. I will be busy for this week. XD

~bye

Another regular day for me. We did not discussed anything today. Full of projects to be submitted tomorrow. Projects will be displayed for the coming exhibit. The only topic was about the J.S. Prom last friday. Our adviser had given us comments of what we look liked that night. I didn't expect my teacher would give me a positive comment about my gown and overall appearance. He just said that even though I am small, I just look great with my gown.. That's all.. And I just kept on laughing for the whole day, because, we have nothing to do. But of course we did our projects and tomorrow is the deadline. Wish me luck! X3 I still can't get over him! Shit!

~au revoir!!

grabe.. ang sama talaga ng valentines ko this year.. Well, I am speaking in filipino.. Grabe naman kasi tong life ko noh... Ibubuhos ko sama ng loob ko dito dahil wala naman akong mapag sabihan ngayon.. XD Siguro I must tell the story of my love life, Valentines naman ngayon.. Simulan ko nung grade six.. Ako nung time na yun.. ako ung taong napaka tahimik, mahinhin, walang masyadong friends, na iinis pa ang ibang tao sakin dahil sa ganun kong kilos, hindi makatawa ng malakas. Pero nawala un nung nakilala ko ung mga taong unang nagparamdam sakin ng true friendship.. Yun ay sila Chantal and Jonathan. It was like Nirvana... A perfect life for me..

Nung time na un, puro crush lang ako, hindi ako nag eexpect na mapansin ako ng mga nagiging crush ko, kasi ba naman, parang I don't exist! As in.. parang, hindi ako nakikita ng mga tao sa paligid ko... That's why ang liit ng tingin ko sa sarili ko.. XD

Until such time na.. Nagkahiwalay kami ng mga bezzies ko nung first year highschool na.. Hindi ko alam kung sino nanaman ang pakikisamahan ko.. Pero thank God, nandun pa din si Jonathan, na naging classmate ko din, pero I didn't expect na magkakaroon ng gap ung closeness namen. Kasi sumama siya sa ibang group of friends, pero okay pa din kasi, we still have care for each other.. X3 I met a lot of new people especially mga transfers from other school. Pero nagkaron pa din ako ng friends na old students.. I still have hope na makakayanan ko ang life ko nun because of them and of course, hindi nawala communication namin ni Chantal until now. One of the transferees na isang guy ang kinainisan ko..

Pano ba naman, napahiya ako one time sa isang teacher then siya ung tumawa ng napaka lakas, lalo akong napahiya.. but I didn't expect na ung guy na un ay ang magiging first love ko, nangligaw siya pero, nagpalakad lang siya sa one of my friends. I dunno yet what to do because that's the first guy who appreciates me. Sa totoo lang.. Nung year lang na yun naging masaya ang Valentines ko.. Pero loving that person was a big mistake! Hindi ko akalain na.. nung second year na kami, ititigil niya pang liligaw niya sakin, I was so lost, that's the biggest heartache I've ever felt! Ako pa naman yung tipong walang pasensya when it comes on waiting people.. And malalaman ko na lang na hindi pala siya pwedeng mangligaw! but currently that was past, may girlfriend na siya ngayon. Take note, when I was in second year, laging month of January umaamin ang mga guys sakin na may feelings sila sakin.

Kung hindi good luck, bad luck ang nangyayari.. Nung second year, I had my first serious boyfriend, he treated me nicely, we loved each other, but that ended for some reason.. We have only two months.. Ang hirap din maka get over nun, lalo na siguro sa kanya dahil ako ung nakipag break. Nung kami, I met his close friends.. Then, naka get over na ko after summer vacation. Then, third year na! One of my last bf's friend ay naging close ko dahil sa nangyari samin, ung guy na un ay close friend ko since grade three, bumalik ung closeness namin, we chat on YM, text, and even called each other sa phone. Then, na fall in love kami sa isa't isa pero nung time na un, nangliligaw ulit ung last bf ko. Pero anong magagawa ko sa feelings ko kung mahal ko na ung friend niya.

So, naging kami na nung close friend nya. I felt guilt inside, dahil ayokong masira friendship nila but I just followed my heart. After four months, year 2006.. we just broke up.. But before that, naging close sila ng mga friends ko, and I didn't expect that today, February 14, 2006, Valentines day na aaminin niya sakin na... Na develop na siya sa friend kong girl! Na iinis ako sa kanya dahil alam kong wala na siyang feeling sakin, but he still telling me na mahal pa niya ko!? what the hell?! Actually, walang kasalanan yung friend kong girl kung na fall sa kanya ung last bf ko.. Pero sana lang.. Sinabi na niyang hindi na niya ko mahal! Para pareho na kaming nakapag move on.. Well, wala naman sakin kung maging sila dahil ganun ang fate namin.. I feel sorry for him! Sabi ng iba kong friends, weak ang personality niya dahil hindi niya ma handle ang mga situatuions like konting selos, napa laki at ginive up na niya ko, more pa sa new love of his life! Na inaaming napaka play girl daw niya.. Well, ganun ang ugali niya.. nang tritrip ng mga guys.. Turn off na ko!!! I don't want him anymore! naka get over na ko!! Eto mga nangyari sakin ngayon.. XC

~goodbye!!

Well.. I am feeling good now.. I am loveless, careless, and kinda quiet person today.. This is what I am.. The quiet person, doesn't exist on this world.. But still, one of the misunderstood people. Today is our foundation day, until friday. It's quite boring and annoying, we did nothing, just eat pizza all day long! food trip, etc. I thought we will go to the market-market with Mae, Daniel and the rest of the band. But it was changed, Daniel was telling me if we would want to go tomorrow, but I just told him that I and Mae spent our money today, and not sure if we can go tomorrow, maybe friday. XD Anyway.. I don't want to think about my problems, I just want to enjoy myself with my friends and of course the life of being single.. ^____^

~bye!!

I thought you we're a friend of mine but I was wrong/You try to fit into the arms where I belong
You moved right in behind my back/Everyone knows friends don't do that
I thought you were somebody I could trust/You always said you were happy for us
How could you go and break my heart/When you knew all along he was mine from the start

He is everything to me/ And you know we're meant to be
He's my baby/Don't mess with my love
Take everything I own/Ooh just leave that boy alone
He's my baby/Don't mess with my
Mess with my love/Don't mess with my love

You came right over and looked in my eyes/You said those stories were rumours and lies
And I wish I could believe in you/But I'm sorry to say he told me the truth

Friends don't do what you do/There's no excuse
I'm so confused/ I thought you cared about me
But now I see/All you care about is you

Third day of our foundation. I am really bored going to school!! We have nothing to do, I just eat, eat, eat, nothing else! Damn.. We dismissed at 12 noon.. Because our school will have a concert on the gym at 6 p.m., but I didn't go so I am here in the house. I didn't go because I can't go with only myself, I am tired and besides I have a sore throat, I can't speak easily, I just slept from 12 noon unitl 6 p.m, almost half of the day! I even didn't ate lunch.. One more thing is that, we must go to school tomorrow? Saturday and also Sunday, but I think we are only required to go on Sunday because there will be a exhibit. I think I can't go tomorrow, maybe on Sunday. I will go to Anitpolo. XD

~au revoir!!

Fuck!!.. Since friday, I had a sore throat and badly.. I also had sore eyes.. Until now, it was never gone.. All I can do is sleep, eat nothing?, watch t.v., and just put some eye-mo on my eyes. Actually, my eyes are not red.. Damn..

We have no classes today, thank God! But I am also not sure if I can go to school tomorrow.. Because of my fucking eyeballs..

Takas lang talaga tong pag internet ko eh, super bored na talaga ko.. And to think na pwedeng lumala ung sore eyes ko ngayon, well.. XD

At ang nakakainis pa.. Bukod sa sore eyes, hindi pa nawawala sore throat ko, and the shit thing is.. Binilhan pa ko ng daddy ko ng HALU-HALO na naging cause nitong sore throat ko.. Nang iinis ba siya?! Well, bukod sa bored na ko and sick, they really made me the worst person now!

~bye!!

Currently On..

HIATUS!!

We have no classes again today. But I think we will have tomorrow. Anyway, I have my new layout again here. A very simple layout.. XD

I have nothing to say but please leave a comment about my new layout.. XD

We have classes today, I really don't wanna go to school, really.. But exams will be soon and I am waiting for it to come! XD Thankfully, our school days were not moved because of the two days suspension of classes because of the State of Emergency.. X3

I dunno why I am feeling like this, maybe I am not yet getting over with him, but it's kinda weird, I am totally turned off with him.. I cannot say I am still in love with him or something like that, and I am not angry to them or him also. We have no communication but he's still sticking to my friends, but that's okay.. I dunno but I think I've lost my trust to them, especially the people whom he meets usually.. I can't explain it here, but I had a doubt that they are hiding something against me.. It's not that I just want my ex but I really want their friendship, actually I don't care at all to the guys from the past. They've just pissed me off an hour ago when we're in the library watching Just like Heaven.. I was supposedly will sit beside one of my friends then they just said.. "Sorry, c *toot* na jan.." I really feel bad, maybe I was so negative these days but that *toot* is a guy whom they only knew this third year, but me, they already knew me for three years but what the hell?! They just wanted that guy replaced to me? Damn! First was my ex, then now, for another guy that's why I am not included to their fucking friendship!! I know this sounds cheesy but this is just the way I wanted to be before I'll go and leave them, because I am planning to stay out with them this fourth year. I wanna be with my best friend for this last one year. Besides I am not really into myself, I dunno what I am doing, which is right or wrong so that's why I am running for her comfort and guide so that I will be on the right path and I can only find that path from my best friend Chantal.. XD

Anyway, last Saturday, I've watched two Korean movies with my sisters, first is the S-Diary... The story wasn't that funny, maybe because the scenes were all about just SEX.. Even though it was like that, I've learned something on it..

If ever a guy breaks up with you, you will notice that if he says "Sorry".. It means he never loved you at all.. I dunno if this is a fact but Chantal told me, it has a sense.. Saying sorry may have two reasons.. Sorry because he never loved you or Sorry because he hurted you. But according to the movie, a guy said "I must not say Sorry to you because I really loved you but this will end this way"..

The another movie was entitled My Crazy Love, well it's quite fun! But I didn't like the ending.. hmm...

It's a good thing, this layout is now doing fine just the way I want it to be.. XD

~byebye